Swan Leaf- The Garden Of Eden Needs Some Pruning.

 

Sometimes the Path to Pleasure can be a little bumpy. And no, I’m not talking about delicious monsters that go bump in the night. I mean  “less than satisfactory.”

The Swan Leaf Vitality had all the right promises. A plaything so organic and so pretty I couldn’t wait to pluck it up, environmentally friendly, neat, discreet and from one of our all-time-favourite and best-selling award-winning brands! (Yes, that is a lot of hyphenated adjectives but the Swan brand has earned them all….)

I am not going to go into great depths about the specifications and settings of this toy. In short, it has them all. In theory, it’s perfect. What it doesn’t have, and something that is quite valuable when reviewing an adult toy, is the ability to get one to orgasm effectively.

Here is the flaw: it has two “leaf fronds” that are meant to caress the clitoris and gently massage the g-spot. These fronds each have a motor that is situated at the tip and they are flexible. TOO FLEXIBLE. And the motors are too high up. What ends up happening is, as you guide the one in internally, the other bends back away from your body. No Biggie, you could hold it in place with some double-handed dexterity, right? Wrong.

But the further in the one goes, the further away the other goes, and now the motor is missing the mark entirely. Manual massage of the clitoris is an option, but then that internal arm just doesn’t  get to where it needs to (it’s rather… small. Too small. And just wriggles around in there with each pulse and vibe), and the external arm is then in the way completely.

I found this process so frustrating I moved on entirely. If this were a human lover that I cared about, some open communication and guidance would be on the table. With a sex toy, they’d best know what they’re doing from the get-go. Ain’t nobody got time for that.

I do hope that Swan tweaks and fine-tunes this beautiful item though. It has so much potential! In the interim, we at Boudoir Boutique will wait. We gave it our best shot, but this plaything will not be in our range any longer.

Even The Garden Of Eden needed some pruning. In keeping with our long-standing ethos of selling ONLY THE BEST, Swan Leaf, I’m afraid, you didn’t make the cut this season.