I would like to share an experience of mine with you.
I believe I called this experience into my life to help me re-evaluate our societal compulsion to label
our experiences or inclinations.

A traveller came to stay for a short while at the hostel I was staying at in Vietnam as a stop-over on
his way to Cat Ba Island.
It was a beautiful warm sunny day in Vietnam and everyone at the hostel gathered early in the
morning to bike down to Halong Bay. We all headed off and enjoyed a hearty breakfast and
Vietnamese coffee at a cafe on the beachfront. I must interject here and say that Vietnamese coffee
is the best coffee I have ever had, but indisputably the strongest, in other words one cup will leave
you wired up for at least 8 hours!

We spent the day tanning on the white beach sand and swimming in the calm refreshing ocean
which boasted a view more beautiful than anything I had ever seen.
I connected with this passerby who was originally from England and we talked and laughed almost
non-stop.

At the end of the day once we all returned to the hostel I suggested him and I go grab a few drinks at
a beach bar a few kilometres away.
The beach bar, which was literally called “The Beach Bar” became a beautiful setting for our
connection of hearts and minds.

He was a very attractive man of the same age as me, long blonde hair, tanned skin, blue eyes and a
lean physique. We spoke for hours about relationships and sexuality and our views on healing
modalities such as Tantra. I so enjoyed this conversation with him as it was such a free and open space of
sharing and intrigue as opposed to merely projecting beliefs. It was also fun and there was a lot of
laughter, in fact at one point a competition ensued of who could catch the most peanuts in their
mouth after throwing them up into the air. (I won, but he needed a rematch in which he won and he
conceded that this was his masculine inferiority at play and I conceded that I was happy to indulge it).

He told me about how him and his girlfriend have travelled extensively and been to many Tantra and
Yoga retreats and what he had experienced and learnt. Currently he was travelling in Vietnam and
she was travelling in Thailand. They would eventually meet up again in Cambodia.

He told about how he and his girlfriend were in an open relationship and how they had grown into
that sphere of their relationship and that it hadn’t always been that way. I was intrigued to know
what the hurdles were and how they overcame them. I found everything he shared with me to be
very interesting and enlightening and free of ego.
One thing he shared with me that intrigued me the most was a practice, or rather as he called it a
‘discipline’, he had learnt through his spiritual journey of the ability to orgasm without ejaculation.
I was intrigued enough now to want to know more about this phenomenon.

I am a lesbian as I am only capable of falling in love with women or being very strongly attracted to
women and have been with only women for most of my life. However I have had male lovers before
(mostly in my younger days). It had been many years since I had had any male lovers. However in spite
of this, it is more important for me to embrace what resonates with me in any given moment than to
alter my experiences because of labels or conditioning.
Needless to say I was attracted to his energy and eventually at one stage late in the evening I
suggested we get a hotel room. And since we were both clearly intoxicated by one another’s energy
he agreed.

He had to check in with his girlfriend first of course, which according to him is a healthy aspect of an
open relationship, to always check in and be honest. I respected that. She was fine with it.

What transpired that night, and the next morning too, was beautiful and multi-orgasmic for the both
of us. It was a free and open space of physical pleasure and exploration. It was completely physical
and free of any deeper emotion. I danced in both my masculine and feminine energies, I felt free
enough to step fully into my feminine energy which is not always possible with certain female lovers
(as some women are too afraid to step into their masculine energy), and he was also completely
unafraid of stepping into his own sensual feminine energy.

There was a lot of playing and teasing
and rolling around and talking dirty and also a lot that did not involve penetration at all. And I am
not even talking about oral sex, I am just talking about positions in which to achieve orgasm without
any penetration…. Afterwards I wondered if there were many straight couples who practiced this as
a sexual path of mutual pleasure. I believe it would be healthy for straight couples to practice this.
Even more so I thought it would be beneficial for men out there to indulge themselves in learning
how to discipline their bodies in such a way that they can experience orgasm without ejaculation as
a means to greater pleasure and satisfaction for themselves and their partners.

The experience I had was exhilarating and liberating and the next day we both went our separate
ways without any desire of wanting to stay in contact or be in each other’s lives at all.

It is almost like
we used one another’s bodies for our own unbridled pleasure.

We enjoyed our own bodies through one another’s bodies. And that’s OK!  

However there was deep mutual adoration and respect.
That experience has inspired me to encourage men out there to become more intimate with their
own sexuality and dive deeper into the limitless potential of their sexual pleasure.
I am also inspired to tell everyone out there to avoid walking away from certain experiences simply
due to labels or conditioning. If something resonates with you, explore it, explore it fully with
passion. That is what life is about, experience and exploration.

Would I want to experience a male lover again? Who knows what the future holds. However I doubt
there is another who would match up to my blonde haired blue eyed boy from Vietnam
Have a happy, safe and sexy 2019!